I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
