Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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