Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
