Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
