You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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