Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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