What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
