I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
