Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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