plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
