i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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