And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize