It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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