I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
