I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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