It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
