Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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