"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
