My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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