I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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