Where is the hickey?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize