I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
