When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
