i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
