I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
