so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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