I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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