K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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