either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
