I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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