She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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