so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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