Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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