shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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