standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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