i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
