woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
