So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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