I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
