i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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