My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
