i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
