Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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