I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
