Your dad touched me again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
