So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
