I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
