they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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