You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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