Already got asked if we're dating
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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