Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I had to cum in my sink.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
