i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
