The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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