youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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