new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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