Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
