Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
