STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
