I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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