Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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