That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
