walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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